:::Shaziranium Trioxide:::

Well i'm 25

2011-10-24T07:02:00.001+08:00

Old and aimless.

What a tragic birthday this year, down with fever and all. And instructed to stay home, not post anything in Facebook or even reply to anyone in Facebook. Or I'll get it? Wth.

Huge part of me wishes you'd drop down and die, really. Small part of me still has hope you would change.

Come in we're not even married or plan to do so anyways. What's with all this mistrust like you're perfect or something. If you cant swallow the past then don't bother sticking with the present or hoping for a future! Just take it quietly or leave it.

Digging up the past will not do good for the both of us.

Ramadhan Al-mubarak!

2011-08-09T02:41:00.001+08:00

Eesh makin mendalam bulan puasa ni makin menjadi plak! Nk salahkan setan da tkle.. Eesh...

My social paper over woohoo!!!

June 2011

2011-06-26T05:09:00.001+08:00

Kids' school holidays are over! So my partying for June shall end too. Had a fun chilling session with dear again. Hehe.

Only not nice thing for June is he quit his job and my BFF is going through a super rough time with her love. Sometimes guys just do some stupid stuff without thinking. And end up blaming the innocent girlfriend for his wrongdoings. Like what kind of trend are they setting up here?!

Anyway i should really start focusing on this trimester's assignments. :)

We went on a date

2011-06-02T23:16:00.001+08:00

We went to east coast park! Lol. Actually to view the nearest barbecue pits to seven eleven for my department on 23rd July. So excited about that too.

We bought dinner and ate at one of the benches. So "romantic". Haha eating in the dark.

But the most fun part was that I had asrul's thumbdrive and we played techno songs out loud while driving haha.

I miss my pumpkin boy

2011-05-30T01:39:00.001+08:00

I miss him I really do. Recently I've been playing his old CDs, hoping it might help awaken him to his senses sooner like many people said it would lol. Re-hearing songs like sweet home Alabama and hotel californiacation made it all enjoyable though. Wake up boy we've got so many places to go together, u know like USS.

2011-03-20T04:17:00.002+08:00

well well, welcome back.

it's two more days to a year since i last posted.

blasts of past year:

- finally started taking my degree (psychology/mktg mgt @ Murdoch University)

- finally own a class 3 driving licence

- still with the same man i've been with since 2007

ttyl. :)

2010-03-22T15:46:00.001+08:00

KL was the bomb!

photos and updates coming up soon -- this means when i feel like typing more and upload photos to comp.

2010-03-18T15:09:00.001+08:00

dear god, please help me find peace in all this. i hope u heard my daily prayers.

2010-03-12T17:39:00.003+08:00

just discovered from my 13yr old sister yday night that now they only study up to 8 planets because last year, these astronomers confirmed that Pluto is too small to be a planet, and apparently, Pluto has vanished. -_-

2010-03-11T14:30:00.006+08:00

Helllllo. See now I'm bored at work, coz I like to do my things fast and I end up taskless earlier than others. (but actually I think they have more things to do :D)

So now I want to show you my office assistant. Office as in Microsoft Office. I haven't given it a name yet, but when I rarely need to use it, it sleeps. See pictures below to see how it is when it's asleep and when it's awake.

WAHAHAHAH. I just wasted your time reading this, didn't I? :D

2010-01-11T23:32:00.002+08:00

the absence of my brother, the walking and talking and oh-so-manje one, definitely changed my life. an event that closed my heart and opened up my eyes. wonder how many days it has been now, no one's counting anymore. he's more responsive, abit more noisy also, and i tell everyone that to make sure people don't assume he's a no-hope case. no one knows how long more, no one knows how badly affected he will be, no one knows but GOD. and we leave it to his great hands and welcome the destiny he will bestow upon us.

losing a friend is a common occurence in my life. drift away, or simply lose common interest, or 'accidentally' clicked well with other pals, other groups. etc. but what just happened simply took my breath and heart away.

ur gone forever muhaimeen, but the memories will remain etched in our hearts. mourning is rough process and i'm missing evrything abt u now; ur straight-back walk, ur high pitched giggles, the cute puppy dog looks u make, and the cute way u say pls (ouh pretty pls shaz with strawberry cream on top).

i've not seen u in years, or been there for u in years, i sure hope u knew u were a great deal in my life, in fact for half my life now. insyaallah aku akan sentiasa doakan mu muhaimeen. semoga tuhan mencucuri rahmat ke atas roh mu dan tempatkan mu di samping orang2 yg beriman. amin.

missing u a great big deal my dear beloved friend abdul muhaimeen 11 04 1986 ~ 09 01 2010

2009-12-14T11:12:00.002+08:00

my first ever zouk-out: 2009.
verdict: super duper exhausting but the fun is ten times more! ;D

actually went to Sentosa to go Azzura for yan cyber & boy keling's birthday celebrations. after seeing the cutting of cake, i actually went to sit with erin at her friends' place up in front. we were chilling out only to find out Azzura closed at about 1.30 and told us to proceed 2nd level. instead, me & dear went to follow sharil and his friends go zouk-out. so much for a last min plan, tix costed $70 per pax. we went in about 2.30am.

it wasn't that squeezy (unless of course when ur walking through the dancing crowds). there were frequent cold wind, and ur so-called free to do anything~ walk anywhere, sit anywhere, dance anywhere and yes, smoke anywhere! LOL. smoke & dance, how long ago have we not done that? ;P anyway, it was 6am and we didn't really want to leave. all the exhaustion only seem to take place when we reach the carpark.. before that, we kinda try not to remember we've been dancing for almost 4 hours. (actually we spent most of the time walking to and fro on the beach.)

one thing for sure, if i'm going again next year, i will have to buy the tix beforehand, so it will cost about half what i paid! ;D

my daily night-till-morning FB shifts are over! i'm working now, so i can barely stay up till midnight. yesterday i slept at about 3am, and i simply know i'm gonna have to try hard to keep my eyes open after lunch later. i'm doing logistics coordination at DHL Supply Chain, located at Changi North; which is about 10-20mins away from home (by bus!). And it's been 5 days now, so far i've brought lunch everyday. At first I was shy to follow the rest, and then I really wanted to avoid the sun, and of course this refrains me from spending money on lunch or having rice! usually i bring a bread-burger, got once just epok2, once i brought a bit of kuay teow from the shop, and today nenek packed for me roti kirai - yummy! one more hour and i can't wait!

other than above, not much great achievements ;P.
me & dear doing so good so far. i'm still trying to make him control his temper before one day he really kills me. 2009 has been very challenging so far, and December has been fantastic for me. i'm hoping for more happy days. :D

P/S: Ouh yah, I cut off my hair about another 2inches off last week. another step closer to having short hair! ;D

2009-11-06T07:13:00.000+08:00

I'm staring at a broken door
There's nothing left here anymore
My room is cold, it's making me insane
I've been waitin' here so long
Another moment seems to've come
I see the dark clouds comin' up again

Running through the monsoon
Beyond the world
Til' the end of time
Where the rain won't hurt
Fighting the storm
Into the blue
And when I lose myself I'll think of you
Together we'll be running somewhere new
Through the monsoon
Just me and you

A halfmoon fading from my sight
I see your vision in its light
But now it's gone and left me so alone
I know I have to find you now
Can hear your name,I don't know how
Why can't we make this darkness feel like home?

Running through the monsoon
Beyond the world
Til' the end of time
Where the rain won't hurt
Fighting the storm
Into the blue
And when I lose myself I'll think of you
Together we'll be running somewhere new
And nothing can hold me back from you
Through the monsoon

Hey!
Hey!

I'm fighting all this power coming in my way
Let it take me straight to you,
I'll be running night and day
I'll be with you soon
Just me and you
We'll be there soon
So soon

Running through the monsoon
Beyond the world
Til' the end of time
Where the rain won't hurt
Fighting the storm
Into the blue
And when I lose myself I'll think of you
Together we'll be running somewhere new
And nothing can hold me back from you
Through the monsoon
Through the monsoon
Just me and you
Through the monsoon
Just me and you

2009-11-03T04:20:00.001+08:00

great day, had a great date!!!

naik train with dear go bugis, he buy me pants, we eat, we walk from bugis to kallang for fun, he got tired, took train back to tampines, walked home, then we both got really tired and he cabbed home!

tired day, but i made him take the train!!! haha.

love u dear.

2009-09-30T13:31:00.000+08:00

bosan....! tapi tknk work. how? hahahah.

tmr mommy's bday! *****

2009-09-27T01:30:00.002+08:00

tirreeeeeeddddd. tired tired tired!

today jalan with his friends, tmr jalan with my friends. yey!
gd nyt~

2009-09-25T05:23:00.004+08:00

wow coming 6th day raya already....! so fast ya. anywayyyyy, kak ida came to sg on tues, and also danny went back doha on tues too.

on wed, me, mas, sri & kak ida spent the afternoon to night at tampines central. haha sounds lame but it was fun. we walked thru tampines one, mall & century sq till the evening nd we got tired and sat down at coffee bean. then at night, we caught 'inglorious basterds'... i knew the movie was an action movie and it featured !brad pitt!, but i had NO IDEA it was a movie on NAZI-s...! aha. boy was it gore! but fun of coz esp with my closest girls in the family.

and ouh yah, i didn't really follow them walking ard much in the noon, coz dear came down to photocopy some docs for his new job! yes! he's got a job! as a technician i think. :D he doesn't know but i'm really happy for him lor. first job he's had since he's with me right, coz all the way NS. so he started yday and he said it was fine and he's mixing well with his colleagues from china & the philippines so i guess he's happy. :D

anyway, kak ida left on an air asia flight back to KL just now at 10 pm... :(
will be months till i see her again... unless... i work.. and save money... and fly there with mas again!

ouh yes i'd like that very much... k la maybe by oct work ok!

2009-09-22T04:38:00.003+08:00

it was a fun lil day~!

actually many relatives came over, but i was busy sleeping, tsk tsk tsk! then in the evening ning & family came and we watched upin & ipin the movie geng! cute. and dear came also, but i met him downstairs only hor.

after that after 10, almost 11, we left to nek busu's hse, did a lot a lot of camwhoring with my sisters there and all the way home! ouh yes, we stopped by this indian coffeeshop to have supper, coz no one really had dinner! aha. good night!

2009-09-21T04:51:00.003+08:00

malam first day raya and i'm still awake at 5! i'm kinda tired tho.. but i already took a lil nap in the afternoon coz can't tahan the 4hrs sleep i had yday... because... went to geylang with ana at 4!! LOL. came back by 5 tho. ahaha.

raya was fun, as usual... family came n came n came... then we went to abah's sis-in-law place, and to mak long's! but sadly no bunga api party at mak long's place this yr, coz she ran out of them yday and no one bought any. :(

simple fun day ended with meeting dear for awhile.. poor thang, still look so sick and he's still in so much pain. but he made effort to go out, and on a bike, to meet me. thanks dear!! :D

i hope he gets well soon.. besides eating porridge, he can't eat nothing much.. but he still had lontong for raya, but with no spicy side dishes i guess.. and not much meat. aww, not on raya that shd happen!
and doctor also told him no smoking for the time being, i wonder why since it's a problem with the stomach/ intestine, but he hasn't smoked since yday and saying he might as well quit...
easy for him to say! he's not that heavy a smoker... maybe him quitting will help me to do so too... ya? hmm..

2009-09-20T03:22:00.004+08:00

dear is home! but he's still not well, and unable to savour the hari raya luxurious food tmr, poor thang! get well soon sayang!

and danny's here in sg~ me n mas n sri fetched him from the airport just now in the afternoon. he's nice, and was excited about everything - about our clean city, sightings and Old Chang Kee's crab claws! LOL. so cute he. glad he loves Singapore.

and all my muslim brothers & sisters, SELAMAT HARI RAYA AIDILFITRI~!! a lovely month for celebrations, full of compassion and forgiveness amongst each other. :D

p/s: it's 3am and crazy lil sis ana nak gi geylang now! but i want to too! haha!!

2009-09-19T05:48:00.002+08:00

omigosh last day of puasa already..??! so fast!!
raya this year will most likely be like raya last year, very very simple. last yr difference is we didn't go visiting at all, coz baby boy still in hosp.. and raya didnt feel like raya. plus we didnt do the mintak maaf with parents last yr coz we were rushing to hosp.

this yr pon serious mcm malas. baju mak belikan, kasot, bag etc didn't bother looking at all. but today mas gonna look for shoes so maybe i get one too, coz i like getting shoes! i'm almost 23, i believe i've had my share of raya-s. but i'm sorry for my 12 & 16 yr old sisters as they're unable to have raya-s that i had. not to mention this 21 yr old brother of coz. lagy ni satu nk psle, satu nk o level, after raya. how eh.

last but not least, dear still at hospital seh!! we're hoping he'll get discharged today, not that he can have solid food on raya later. but at least ber-raya kat umah, kan lebih best. i think he was diagnosed with something like inflammation in the intestine. or stomach. something like that. yday he got to eat porridge after 2 days tk mkn. :( and he tested his new-found strength after porridge by punching my arm (after i punched him numerous times haha), and yes it hurted so he's stronger now! past 2 days he was so so weak.

and ouh yah, sri's beau danny is flying to singapore tonight!! kinda excited, hoping not to be disappointed ya. will try to wake up to fetch him at airport later at 2pm. okay gud nyt swt drms everyone~

2009-09-17T04:17:00.002+08:00

ouh my poor baby is sick! after much persuasion, he still refuses to see doctor, thinking the pain will all go away soon. yes, stubborn he is!

so finally just now, he went with his mom to CGH for a proper check, as the pain didn't go away after 4 days..and he got warded! guess they're gonna do a scope or u call it a full check in his stomach, to check what's srong with his stomach & digestion.

will only get to visit him tmr! (i'm more worried if i bump into his mom, coz i haven't met her after 26 months with dear, and don't really plan too soon hmmm)

and fellows, sri is back! me & mas went to airport to fetch her earlier. hehe.

2009-09-15T06:18:00.002+08:00

i got my diploma & u didn't. i wished u did boy.
u had just one month left to ur final exams & u've always studied really hard, harder than me, i wished the school would just give u urs.

haiz. i miss u dek.

2009-09-13T05:02:00.000+08:00

happy 26th month dear! i wurve ya!

went to the dentist just now in the afternoon to fill up my teeth. shame on me! one tooth had a lil hole since i was in sec sch, and i feared the dentist too too much. see, now i'm almost 23, of course the hole's gotten bigger and it caused pain just to do the filling.
but i'm glad i've done it. been putting it off for months now. eesh.

tmr buka with dear & his friends... dunno where actually. but it's my first time buka outside! dear too i think, it was either home, or shop fer me, or home or grandma's plc fer him. LOL.

gd nyt everyone, selamat berpuasa!

2009-09-12T04:28:00.001+08:00

omg it's been 2 months! HEHE.

lemme see, updates:

*not working anymore, and planning to work only after raya
*dear sold his bike to share one with his bro... Gilera 09!
*baby boy looking more gorgeous everyday
*my lil sisters growing more sideways than upwards. HAHAH.
*and oh yea, i'm almost broke already & raya is coming gosh!!

and of coz, BFF lala & asrul got hitched on 09.08.09~!! :D

2009-07-16T01:16:00.000+08:00

it's been one long year boy.
it seems so long as we're just waiting for you to wake up.

told u before, will tell u again, i just want u to get well, and if u need all the time in the world baby boy, take ur time. coz we'll all still be here waiting. :D

lots n lots n lotsa love. muaaks.

p/s: i'm loving the kisses & hugs & lil talks i have with u every time i get home, and actually every time i enter your room, i mean our room (we shared it before this rber). simply coz these are things i never got to do before, things i didn't do to u lil bro, kiss & hug u or something, it'd be weird!
and just so u know, i can't stop thinking abt u if i don't go home, and not getting to see u for one day gets me worried!

2009-07-05T16:27:00.002+08:00

whoever made it official that sunday was family day?

sorry i'm not the typical singaporean who spends her weekdays slogging off for work and trying to accomplish good reputation and gaining high status for my self centred self and only leave one bloody day at the end of the week for family. yea so called family you love so much u only leave them one day.

what's wrong with giving them a bit of ur everyday? spend a lil time of ur everyday with whom you feel for, be it ur family, ur buddies, ur dumb boyfriend, ur neighbours or maybe ur pets. whatever. coz u never know when's ur last day right.

yea right. i tell u what. i'm not feeling too well and getting angry at everything i dunno why. so here i am listening to loud music on the headphones, typing jibberish i dun even understand and going to publish it soon.

why? maybe coz i just took three pills and my hands are shaking coz it's too strong and my lungs still not breathing properly.

dun worry, the pills are medically prescribed to consume 3 at a time.

2009-06-26T11:00:00.004+08:00

i thought it was pretty sweet to play an M.J song on Class 95 right before i left for work this morning upon the news of his death [at 5.26am (SG time)]. Class 95 played "Man in the Mirror"; how long ago since i heard that song! as nice as ever.

now that i'm at work, we listen to malaysian radio stations i.e. MIX FM or HITZ FM, as you all know there's no more streaming for local stations! and for more than 2 hours now, they've been playing M.J hits consecutively....!

at first when i heard "Billie Jean" and "Black or White" and "Thriller", it was sensational!
and i began to reminisce back on younger days in the mid-90s when me & my cousins sang M.J hits all the time, and i was trying hard to keep up - esp with eful, yaya, hir & mas - they seemed to know every song every word!

then, the radio stations played M.J hits such as "You are not Alone" and "They don't care about Us" -- isn't that like so so so emotionally depressing...????? oh dear, could i be mourning for someone i've not really been a big fan of, but simply someone i've grown up listening to....

it's for sure there are so many fans out there mourning and mourning... (i'm depressed myself)
even my cousin syai is playing M.J hits by himself at home... and here i am listening to this station never-endlessly playing M.J hits.....

ouh and yes , did i tell you, it was just 4 days ago, me and my cousins were playing Guitar Heroes as a band, and i sang "Beat It" :)

You may have left us, Michael, but your songs will forever remain etched in our hearts... R.I.P. Mikaeel....

2009-04-22T23:19:00.002+08:00

finally, my last day in Courts~!!!!!
to tell u in short, they transferred me to bukit timah on 23rd March, and i knew i couldn't take the distance so i tendered my resignation on the first day i started there. so, today was my last!

words can't describe how much i'm gonna miss Courts: i spent 20 months there, n that's longer than how long i've been with dear. in the last couple of months i met more new colleagues and just beginning to get the hang of them and too bad i already have to leave...

here's something natasha did (my partner in bt timah), and it was very sweet of her. :D

2009-04-20T18:13:00.001+08:00

i'm sick.

:(

2009-03-31T01:41:00.002+08:00

SAPE MKN KAYU??

Sedap ke mkn kayu..

2009-03-13T02:15:00.002+08:00

Last Friday, we went to watch My Bloody Valentine! Sure it was fun and gruesome and super thrilling! But having sat 4th row from the front, and wearing 3D goggles, we got dizzy and blurry pictures almost one third of the movie sia. Ouh don't blame us for accepting tickets 4th row from the front; we went all the way to Vivo, and had to even wait 3 hours for the movie okay. The earlier one was 1st row at the front. Argh. Should have watched at tamp je.
And while waiting the 3hrs, all of us, (yes all me lala asrul nor) didn't bring our fags, left'em in the car parked super duper far away hahahaha!!!

Then 2 days back, me n dear caught Watchmen at TM. His bloody idea. I wanted to watch that 'He's just not that into you' but his treat, his choice i guess. 3 hours of torture!!!!
Sure it was cool with the characters, but it was 15% action, 55% talk & 30% totally don't understand!! Hehe. Next time, I choose k?

Ouh yes, happy 18months dear-dear. Muaaks.

2009-03-08T02:15:00.001+08:00

BULL SHIT!!!!!

08-03-2009

Puas Hati Jgn Kasi Aku Ade Kwn

2009-03-08T01:00:00.004+08:00

WHICH PART OF CANNOT COULDN'T YOU BLOODY UNDERSTAND???????

i hate this. being trapped in this one-sided, unfair world with you damnit.
it has always ALWAYS been about you hasn't it? i had to end it before, coz YOU refused to play ur part anymore. and now it has started again just coz YOU changed ur mind n wanted to. when it had taken 5 months to completely forget all abt u and what we ever had. YOU made me start again coz YOU decided to.

so fine, let's try what YOU want. coz i'll never win over the decision anyway no matter how i try. now i can't do this coz YOU don't like that. and i can't do that coz YOU think it won't be necessary. necessary for who in the first place? and yes, i did whatever YOU said, at least 85% out of it. better than the 15% YOU ever try to go my flow.

i told you from the start, this had better be mutual, an eye-for-an-eye thing going or the deal is off.

so which part of what YOU did was fair? was it fair when YOU ignored my disallowing you to continue with your plans when all this while YOU made me, YOU forced and threatened me so that i'd cancel my plans? is it the part YOU went to DBL-O without my knowledge not twice, not thrice but more than that in just the past 5 months we've been back together? or it is the part when YOU have successfully sneaked out when i thought YOU were already asleep coz YOU insisted on being so? or could it be the part YOU tried to mark me down with my accusations of your wrongdoings which ended up completely true? oh wait, maybe it's the part YOU bloody used your ultimate strength to hit me on 3 separate occasions?

now YOU tell me. what was i supposed to gain from this?

2009-02-28T18:02:00.000+08:00

Firstly giving me NAMES

2009-02-28T14:11:00.005+08:00

Im FUCKING Piss OfF ah...

S.I.A.L ah nie!!

Ape lagi Name kau nk kasi ah!!

2009-02-27T18:41:00.000+08:00

++ S.i.a.L ++

2009-02-16T03:48:00.000+08:00

Warning: ONE LAST CHANCE, mister.

Remember why we're together for.
Remember what we're striving for.
You know, like one for all, all for one?
Think as a whole, not as a separate unit. Okay?

P/S: I love you.

2009-02-06T19:06:00.001+08:00

so boring at work lately. not much to do!

niway, still tiring. but tmr, sun and mon off...yey!

:)

2008-12-31T04:52:00.004+08:00

the reminiscence began 2 nights ago... when he couldn't sleep, and i tried singing him to sleep.. i sang an oldfolk song 'sarinande' over and over again hoping it'd help.. it was a song dad used to sing us to sleep.. =) ouh before that i was singing the selawat over n over again also in his hear.. but it brought more tears rather than his sleepiness... and last i sang hero by mariah carey, coz it was one of the old slow songs that i fully memorize LOL.

plus kak ida being here for the new year, we tend to talk more about our happy memories, laughing at our old family vacations where we did so many dumb and fun activities... i don't know when my family will be able to go on one again tho...

one thought that i just couldn't let go.. was when my family went to genting highlands few years back, prolly back in '04.. me n adek were scouting the area looking for rides which we could all take together but haha finaz was too small back then and ana was too short back then, so there were not much... adek really wanted to go on the 'solero shot' and persuaded me to go along and go on it with him... i said hell no.. i would have to think for hours to actually go on the outdoor rollercoaster and he wants me to what?! solero shot?! no no no no no no no!
well i think after he had to ask me like 3 or 4 times, he almost pleaded, but i still stood firm on my NO. =) he gave up after that, persuading himself that the queue was long anyway, and plus he said something dumb like 'aku dah nak terberak ni, ntah2 aku naik tu taik aku kuar alek dari mulut!'
i really really can't forget that ahahaha.. poor thing. i really thought he decided not to, but now i think again, he probably just wanted to dissuade himself, COZ I DIDN'T WANT TO GO WITH HIM.

haiz boy, i should have gone right? now i wonder if you ever can....

2008-12-27T22:17:00.002+08:00

happy birthday dear sayang! now ur 22, just like me! =) hehe.

hope ur happy today, sorry i didn't really plan much.. i even forgot about getting you the cake! see la, we both wake up late, all the plans go down the drain....

at least we had our big feast after our big shopping trip... wish i could get more that you want, but wait next pay k... hee.

2008-12-21T18:58:00.002+08:00

say hello to the entry that has long been due.... unless my off day clashes with dear's (which is very rare), i wud be spending it at home, with baby bro...

when u stare at something for so long, or someone, you'd probably start understanding what it's feeling, how it's like to be in its shoes or what it's going thru right now.... but when i stare n stare at baby bro, expecting the feeling to come or an answer to everything he's going thru right now, he just stares at me back with his big beautiful brown eyes which seems to look pretty happy that there's someone there with him keeping him company... at least that's what i think.

when it all began in july, we started to see how much love there was for him around us that we didn't even know of... the first selfish thought that i had was: would there be this much love if i were the one in his shoes? i hoped so. there was no need to be envious for the much showered love upon him since he first came into this world 31st March 1988... he was the first son for my parents, and actually their only son till now... he robbed me of half my parents's love for me and i was only 2... but i began to understand n knew that for my whole life i'd have to share everything with him.... (of course i didn't know i was gonna have 2 more lil sisterlllls)

look at him... can u imagine ur youth being taken away from you over an accident which only lasted one or two minutes, and the aftermath to last so long... i had so many good n happy things happen to me after i turned 20, and 21, n yes 22... his life is put to a pause at 20... he had so much ahead of him... his graduation, his future with the love of his life for the past 3 yrs plus, and NS? which healthy guy in singapore doesn't go for that? we've just received the letter from MINDEF asking shafiee to go for his medical checkup.. i couldn't find any instructions or guide to reply that he couldn't go... ana offered to go in his place if she could... then she'll be singapore's one n only gorgeous mulan... aha.

i miss him. n i miss how my family were before. of course, the rest of us spend so much more time together now. but there is always this glum aura around us to remind of the used-to-be-so-cheeky lil boy shafiee, lying down in his bed, waiting to be put to sleep or to be fed, or to be bathed or to be changed. or to be talked to, or given kisses so much i wished it would bring him back to normal....

i wish i cud go on further but i have to go.. it's shafiee's makan time!

2008-12-12T23:23:00.002+08:00

had the best day out with dear... no fights (almost) except when we are on the bike of course....

it had been planned for so many days.. friday we were supposed to watch madagascar together n go riding after that....

ended up we fought, n cancelled both.... BUT we went TM (yea i know ir's nothing to u but something to me) n we bought his stuff, my stuff, normal things we should have been doing for so long, but we haven't coz we're not normal.

and we went to eat! over the past 16 n a half months, i think there were less than 10 times that we eat together.. LOL. and we had dessert after dinner... well okay not really dessert, we wanted to get some sweet pastries but we were too full, n we ended up buying Mini Melts from the vending machine...

LOL.
Love you dear.

2008-12-02T16:16:00.001+08:00

2008-11-16T19:17:00.001+08:00

sakit gigi. migraine saket nk mampos.
if i had a tooth extractor at home, i'd probably just extract it myself.

yaaaa ryt.

2008-11-11T14:11:00.001+08:00

hi mr. blog!

i miss you....

u miss me too i know...

after i made u prettier, i was sick for a whole week and busy at work.

see u later mr. blog...

2008-10-31T11:35:00.000+08:00

honey i'm lost. help.

Hey everybody, how about a gettaway to Bangkok?

2008-10-25T18:29:00.002+08:00

i got a ring, a gorgeous bag, make-up for my birthday!

i'm really not into celebrations, and i didn't want to go anywhere special for my birthday, i took 2 days leave to stay at home... aha.

so on the birthday, i went threading with mas and came home by 10pm coz nenek asked to come home to makan2... and i asked a few friends along.

after cutting cake n all, i was gonna bring food out for my friends and suddenly, my FAVOURITE sister ana splashed flour on my head from the back!
and the rest joined in, friends n family, more flour and even eggs!!!!!!!!

thanks to me running around the house, the whole house almost turned to dough haha.
thanks to mom & lil sisters, they bought me a Powerpuff girls' cake, so pretty!!!

2008-10-23T03:53:00.002+08:00

so busy and lazy to blog nowadays.... work work work... plus spending time with my beloved lil bro at home...
and of coz got to spare some time to spend quality time with girlfriends and my dear. hmmmm.

niway i came here today, to wish myself...
a HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!

Happy bithday shazzie, and also to the other 23rd Octoberians!

Okay good night, bye.

2008-10-16T20:22:00.003+08:00

can't wait to meet dear tonight!

last saturday night, we had a grand finale at baby's place - me, dear, oreo, lala, sri, halim, yanie, hafiz n baby!
had my legs in cramps now i can't walk properly, for 4 days already haha!

i love muhammad nor bin rosli.
again.

2008-10-09T17:38:00.002+08:00

happy with what i'm doing right now...
and who i am spending my time with.

besides my brother being home....
sri is back in sg! =) well, since tuesday, and for 7 days only i think.

and yesterday was my company's D & D.
will upload pics soon.
went with sitti & don, and time alek, dear dtg jumpe kita & kita kuar jalan2 4 org. hehe.
it was a great night. =)

2008-09-28T03:09:00.005+08:00

tadi kita buka ramai2 best kan?
mahal tapi best bersama2.
(me, has, mas, eezan & bud, farah & dex, sitti & don)
lepas tu kita lepak mac lama2 ntah bebual aper den lala & asrul lak join & sampai polis dtg nk saman motor bud aru sumer jalan, haha.
after that we (me mas has lala asrul) gi mustafa jalan2 beli brg, best kan, dpt kuar shopping2.
oh yea, before that i bought a pair of pretty green heels at mondo! =)

ANYWAY, lemme tell u guys a story:
me & has were supposed to get our hair done today. we made an appointment at 2.30 but i had work n mas last min nk ikot, so we were there at 3.30. okay nvm abt that.
every bloody year, we did our hair at this place called the NEEDS SALON.(2yrs at Bugis brc, 1yr at Mkt St brc)
so this year we thought we'd try out the branch at GOLDEN SHOE complex.
they were having a promotion for rebonding @ $99 for all hair lengths. every yr, they'd try to upsell with treatment or hair products so we'd pay more than intended, it's common for hair salons to do so anyway. but it's our decision in the end right.
so when we got there, this lady analysed has' hair n advised treatment which has refused as we already set our mind not to pay more than $99 this yr. (we knew the treatment doesn't make much difference) so the lady then gave up and began to wash has' hair before beginning anything else.
then this so-called 'professional' teenage-looking boy analysed my hair. i recently did some bleaching to the hair and he said that my hair 'must' have treatment done also or it might not turn out nice or my hair might 'break' if i don't have it. of course, i refused, and i told him if my hair turns out super dry i will come back to do it. he then said i 'HAVE TO' or he's unable to do it. i was thinking - 'unable?! so he won't do it?' i had to pretend has was paying for me, so i sought her advice after her hair had been washed. he also advised my hair needs the '$128 rebonding' bcoz of the dumb bleaching. and the treatment will cost another $100 (i.e. $128+$100=$228?!)
in the end i agreed for rebonding for $128 while has' costs $99 BUT HE SAID NO TREATMENT, HE WILL NOT DO. okay fine, i said then nvm forget it.
then SUDDENLY, the lady with has who was drying has' hair started to advise has some stupid shit like 'hey i think ur hair also quite dry, and ur scalp quite dry, u MUST have treatment also, if not i can't do'. CAN'T DO OR DON'T WANT TO DO?!
in the end, me n has (with wet hair) left the shop, and we went back to has' nearby workplace to blowdry her hair.

what the hell, just read online, there are so many complaints abt that outlet!!!!
previously, there were no problems with the other outlets..
and please, we have the money, but of course we set a budget for everything.
hair is important, but i already set the budeget for a maximum of $150 or $160, but $228?!
WTF sia. after reading all the comments online, i'm glad we left the bloody outlet!

pls read these examples:
Bad experience 1
Bad experience 2

2008-09-16T05:18:00.003+08:00

it hurts to be treated like shit,
especially when ur treated like a princess on other days.
either give me nice or dun be nice at all.

so what wrong did i do this time; is it coz i prioritize u too much, n give u too much face?
is it coz i try my very best to fulfill ur needs n wants?
or is it coz i'm never just good enough....

daydreams will always be fantasies;
dreams are always meant to be forgotten;
just listen to what your parents say and things will be fine,
yea i should have done that.

i miss shafiee. i was at geylang with has looking for her bf's family's baju raya n i was browsing thru the men's baju melayu, n i got reminded of how every year i would come to geylang several times not to look for mine, but to look for the perfect matching-with-the-sisters outift for my lil bro coz i know he wouldn't bother n he's always rely on me to do it.
my eyes started to tear n i did not touch or glance at another baju melayu for the rest of the night.

2008-09-01T04:59:00.000+08:00

Selamat Berpuasa my Muslim brothers & sisters!

=)

2008-08-23T01:03:00.000+08:00

HAPPY 11TH BIRTHDAY SHAFINAZ!!!!

2008-08-22T00:05:00.002+08:00

for the past 5 months i've been missing out on a lot of stuff... time with my buddies... or met any old friends. coz of the bugger i thought i'd be spending my life with. what a bummer.

niway i'm back to work after 2 days off, feel so lazy to work lei!!

p/s: i miss shafiee. n i hate to see my grandma cry every night.
adek, i love you, n i need u to be strong for urself, n for us.

2008-08-20T00:41:00.003+08:00

i've not been sleeping well, coz i kept thinking of you.
i've been in denial for so long, and for the past few days, i've begun to cry myself to sleep again...

i can't help but hope all this hadn't happened, how i wished i made u late for school that day n u wudn't have gone..
how i keep praying u'll wake up tomorrow.... And how i long to hear you call me kakak again...

adek, i can't do this alone without you.. we have 2 lil sisters with so much ahead of them, we were supposed to work hard to give them a good life, to give mum & dad a good life..

i need you boy, please wake up... sorry i wet our bed with tears, we'll get a new bed for you when you come home.

i love you so much.

2008-08-20T00:07:00.002+08:00

DAY 35, missing Shafiee lots.

i'm beginning to shake my life up again.... with best buddies.

i miss people i can't have next to me when i wanna. i should be getting something more secured in life soon. i hope.

will i actually find someone later?

anyway, the nurses at NUH are really cute, even the not so young ones. haha.
they're taking good care of my baby bro, that's what that matters. =)

and we actually might be bringing him back soon!

2008-08-15T23:54:00.001+08:00

you-tubeing with baby sis every night now.

2008-08-13T02:50:00.003+08:00

i can't believe i've not slept because of friendster re-designing! haha kental nyer.
creating stuff like this:

and of coz i can't stop thinking of how much i miss baby bro.
n how could one certain asshole sleep in peace after what he's done to me.

2008-08-12T02:50:00.005+08:00

ouh so that's how u create albums on friendster..... haha. baru nk rajin kemas2 kat friendster.

niway had a great day with mas today. erm we both wake up afternoon, left house 2.30pm to go tekka (as usual) by bus 23 then later continued taking 147 all the way to NUH. so we actually reached NUH at around 6pm. wahahaha.
okay gooood nighttttt!

2008-08-12T00:06:00.005+08:00

when i grow up! i wanna be famous, i wanna be a star, i wanna be in movies!
be careful of what you wish for, you just might get it!

singing this song, i just remembered... on the day of baby bro's accident, after he woke me up and when i was getting ready for work, i was thinking to myself (i always think abt weird things myself), "what if something bad happens happen to baby bro someday & there i am holding strong for him and i overheard someone say something bad of him, i will kick his ass!"
what weird thoughts i have in my head yar? and something bad really did happen. haiz.

i'm missing him so much, he might never be the same, i'm gonna miss him more, i know.
get well soon adek, we'll take care of the rest for you.

a lil update, he's at NUH ward 41 bed 5.

2008-08-10T18:23:00.002+08:00

i tot i was the only one in the world who is too busy/ lazy to update blog.

and because i re-designed my blog, i was copying all my friend's link & ended up with only 40% of the peeps. all the other blogs died!! haha.

at work now, with sitti & cai. 3 of us on a Sunday, crazily picking up calls attending to sale-crazy people.

juana came for a while just now, made me lose my mood to work. urgh.

2008-08-09T23:42:00.001+08:00

ouhh look at my blog. so cute!!!!

lying down on my bed with baby sister finaz, watching garfield cartoon online. waiting for ana to continue the movie.

it's so quiet at home nowadays. with baby bro still in hosp. only god knows how i miss him so much.

adek,
i miss the days when u'll come back in the morning from work, and wake me up for work so u'll get the bed. n i miss chasing u off to work at night so i can sleep on the bed and wait for you to come home in the morning and wake me up.
adek,
i miss you scolding me all the time; abt my lifestyle, abt my boyfriends.
adek,
i miss you sending me and fetching me from wherever i was.
i miss that ur always there when i need u, n i'll always try to help when u needed me.
adek,
i'll always be there for you, i'll tend to ur every need, i'll make enough money for u to have a good life, i'd give my all for u.
adek,
please get well soon. we are all praying for u. i love u. god loves u.

2008-07-17T02:11:00.003+08:00

Shafiee.

He's my baby brother.
My everything.
My knight in shining armour.

My worst nightmare had come upon.
He's met with an accident yesterday afternoon.
Apparently he skidded quite a distance.

He's still in a coma up to now.
Sedated. Bleeding.
Help me. Prayers for his safety, wellness, life.

Insya'allah.

Friends of his out there, he's at NUH ward 21 bed no 5.

2008-03-16T18:40:00.001+08:00

I love this pic. What a waste got picture spoiler behind us.

This was taken last week at dbl-o 06.03.08. Of course, we went separately and left separately.

2008-03-07T19:12:00.001+08:00

went to KL again last weekend. lost my hp again. haha.

msg me at friendster(click here lor) please if ur no if used to be in my hp! =)

i miss 2 someones. :(

2008-02-21T14:21:00.002+08:00

bored at work!!! haha

2008-02-14T19:59:00.000+08:00

:) hello everyone.

2008-01-06T12:58:00.000+08:00

it's been a living hell being with you.
i don't know why i stuck by you for so long; i guess it's because you were not around most of the time, so i could not realise it.

your life's yours, and my life's mine. that's how you see it.
there's no us when u think of me.
there's no way we can survive if we carry on like this.

i always think you're too young. i guess you really are.
you've always known my patience is running out. we're not getting younger. you seem to.

love hurts.

2007-12-31T01:35:00.000+08:00

boring..........

2007-12-25T19:20:00.000+08:00

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!

it's christmas and i`m at work. so bored coz most ppl think we're closed anyway.

boss alex treat us makan, when i came in the noon, they already ordered pizza. then almost dinnertime, they ordered macdonalds'. lol.

super full lor.

2007-12-24T05:14:00.000+08:00

Closed off from love
I didn’t need the pain
Once or twice was enough
And it was all in vain
Time starts to pass
Before you know it you’re frozen

But something happened
For the very first time with you
My heart melted to the ground
Found something true
And everyone’s looking round
Thinking I’m going crazy

But I don’t care what they say 
I’m in love with you 
They try to pull me away 
But they don’t know the truth 
My heart’s crippled by the vein 
That I keep on closing 
You cut me open and I 

Keep bleeding 
Keep, keep bleeding love 
I keep bleeding 
I keep, keep bleeding love 
Keep bleeding 
Keep, keep bleeding love 
You cut me open 

Trying hard not to hear
But they talk so loud
Their piercing sounds fill my ears
Try to fill me with doubt
Yet I know that the goal
Is to keep me from falling

But nothing’s greater
Than the rest that comes with your embrace
And in this world of loneliness
I see your face
Yet everyone around me
Thinks that I’m going crazy, maybe, maybe

But I don’t care what they say 
I’m in love with you 
They try to pull me away 
But they don’t know the truth 
My heart’s crippled by the vein 
That I keep on closing 
You cut me open and I 

Keep bleeding 
Keep, keep bleeding love 
I keep bleeding 
I keep, keep bleeding love 
Keep bleeding 
Keep, keep bleeding love 
You cut me open 

And it’s draining all of me
Oh they find it hard to believe
I’ll be wearing these scars
For everyone to see

I don’t care what they say 
I’m in love with you 
They try to pull me away 
But they don’t know the truth 
My heart’s crippled by the vein 
That I keep on closing 
You cut me open and I

2007-12-19T16:35:00.000+08:00

I've been busy in December.

2007-12-11T01:18:00.000+08:00

Day out with Aqilah Ayuni <9th>:

Me & Mas fetched her from her daddy's place at Jurong West
We went Jurong Point by bus to get some food, then we jalan2
We visited Sri for a while at her hotel
Mas left with Sri to the east, and I sent the princess back home
I slept with the princess =)

2007-11-28T14:32:00.000+08:00

Bored la at work.. Beginning to think i'm bored of work.. Elnie maybe no longer working, coz she's got sch to focus on.. Then there's this awkward aura between ct n d.. Hmm..

Well i used to work for the interest, then maybe for the friends there.. And well, when I first started, there used to be Lala, Asrul, Mamat, Tok, P.e and Halim.. Now there's only left P.e n Halim, n duh i barely talk to these two.. They don't even wanna talk to each other! Gosh.

Well, and the pay sucks, and i get screamed at by customers, but I guess the friends made are great, and my boss is great, and the working hours are fine by me.. But the pay sucks! =)

I miss dear. He passed his TP already.. So fast ar? Damnit. Tmr i off, i wanna go register my btt again ah. Haiyo. And my bro gonna finish his provisional period already, so I guess he's gonna take a 2A licence right.. but damnit he bought the 2A bike already!!!

Jealous, jealous. Well, let's be envious but aspire to be better! yah rite..

2007-11-25T18:06:00.000+08:00

it's sundayyyyyyyyyy. and i'm at work! geez.

last thursday, i went dbl o with dada n lala. LALA GO DBL O YEY! haha. had so much coz almost everyone fun was there. too bad dear couldn't be there, it would have been complete.
nais was there, p.e n brothers were there, asan was there, and too many other ppl to mention..

the main thing is that it was super duper fun la...

and yesterday dear book out camp only for a few hours.. he fetched me at work (at last!) at 7pm, then i spent precious moments with him up till 10pm.. and now i'm already missing him so bad. =(

one problem between us is that i find it so hard to trust every word he says, coz i know of every other lie guys have said to me before, but yah i'm trying.

here's my man, the only one i adore, (edited by shurz`anna..thx!)

2007-11-22T17:40:00.000+08:00

migraines, migraines, and sleepless nights!

and wed, i just couldn't get out of bed coz my head simply hurted too much! so mum asked me when was my off day so we can visit the dentist as recommended by her friend, and it was actually today, but i thought, what the hell, let's go now!

so yea we went, and this was how it went:

i had an x ray done for my teeth area
he gave me 3 anaesthetic jabs, two in my gums and one on my lips i think (my mouth was already numb by then so i didn't really know where).. the jabs hurted okay!
he used everything a dentist used, which made me feel like wanna piss in my pants, i've not been to a dentist in years!
he somesort drilled my wisdom tooth to break it into half, he literally digged the tooth out but pieces (i think coz my mouth was really numb) then he forced-extracted the tooth!
the whole thing lasted for almost half an hour, and lastly, he had stitches done to my gum.. ewwwww.
and we used my mum's medisave to pay first. $800 okay!

God, I'd have to owe my mum like forever.. but i told her since i give her some spending money every month just deduct from there.. LOLx.
insya'allah, no more migraines for me.

but i guess some people just don't know their limits.. after the minor surgery, i slept with lotsa blood still flowing out.. yucks. then at night, i went to chill with dada.

we went to get cigs, then joined her family for supper at simpang bedok.. we then decided to walk home.. at 1.30am, dada suddenly felt like partying, so off we went! haha.

we went obar, den cont at M.O.S then lastly living room. i bloody missed M.O.S lor!! was super fun the whole night, even tho i was broke ahaha.. dada signed for the cab fares with her diners' club card, so yes we got safely home, but in the morning heh.

some people just live to have fun ya?

2007-11-18T20:30:00.000+08:00

Happy birthday bro Elfi!!!!

bday ke brape eh, 24 i think. hee. so yesterday we surprised him with a cake.. we went clarke quay to chill, the 8 of us in asrul's 7-seater Honda stream. motor boat la motor boat~~~
people at the party: asrul lala don emma elfi adek mamat n me.

then we went to venture at this Chinese graveyard at Lornie Rd i think, and a few other places.. but we just stayed in the car, coz don pretended to sleep all the way, and mamat held his hand on the car lock/ window button! haha. cute sia. then we went chilling at this garden at serangoon area, opposite tanjung rhu there... just talk n talk n talk~

dear was out of camp too but he had stuff to attend to for a while, then he claimed that he couldn't meet us at clarke quay coz his bike didn't have the p-plate, and towna rea had many road blocks.. like hello, you went to jb, and the other day u went dbl o with ur bike, they were both okay whatt.. don't wanna come say don't wanna come la.. he ended up chilling with his friends and cousin at dunno where... told me at 1am he wanted to go home, then his batt went flat..

and i get scolded for getting worried? LOL. i made my bro accompany me on his bike to dear's pasir ris hse at 5am in the morning just to look for him, and his bike and his bro's bikes weren't there at all...! next morning, he told me he slept at his sengkang house with his cousin.

okay fine, even tho i didn't believe, i'll just let it pass okay?
coz i know i'm the bitchy one in this relationship. tsk tsk.

but please uh dear, i dunno how long more i can't stand being ur half-an-hr-per-week girlfriend! but i love you.

2007-11-16T19:24:00.000+08:00

no one else wanted to go, and me n dada were like bored to hell. LOL. so went dbl o, just the two of us yesterday. we had fun, and as like usual, when only the two of us went, we're bound to do something stupid/ unexpected. Haa.

the last time we went just the two of us, we went dancing up the podium, something i've not done in months haha. and it's something she doesn't do. so thanks to me haha.

then this time, we followed my guy friend back to his house, with another of his friend, and we just spent from 4am to 6am watching tv, and half dozing off. it was uncalled for, but haha, shall not mention what happened la. too unbelievable to say. we actually met my friends when we were taking cab home, then they came out of nowhere, saying wanna share cab, and since he looked familiar, we said okay. LOL.

and my friend's friend sent us home on his gilera, one by one la. haha. anyway, the weird part is that the one with the gilera is a colleague of my lil bro's.

so awkward if i see him again~

2007-11-12T17:18:00.000+08:00

well, last saturday raving party with sri all, made my dearest mamat n elfi upset. shall not mention why. i know why. haiz.

but hell yeah, we all kissed and made up yesterday, thanks to don's return from china. the peacemaker LOL. well we had another party yesterday, and i was the videogirl. heh. and i wish dear could have joined me in my happy times with my 948 family all this while tho.

well, now mamat has a gf, and elfi has a gf, don has been having one for almost a month. he's with this lady called emma who is super gerek lor. glad my bro found someone who can get along well with the family yar. mamat's gf zana used to work with me at Courts, at the O'Brien's cafe, and p.e is in love with her gf caca hmmm....

2007-11-11T13:51:00.000+08:00

What did we do when Sri was around (29.1o.2oo7 - 1o.11.2oo7):

First day- Celebrated Aqilah's bday, went Lau Pa Sat, ate a lot, went chilling at Tanjung Rhu
Went o-bar on first wednesday, went all senget, cont M.O.S. then chilled with friends
Went dbl on the first thursday-with girlfriends only- enjoyed like hell-sri blanje seh!!
We went raving on saturday haha ya rite
Chill, and chill, and chill
Went o bar/ dbl o on second wednesday (Deepavali bf)- dear was there too, and wani was back in spore also, with wani's cousin yana, and sri's old friend syira, and duh with sri
Chill, and chill, and chill
Sent Sri off at the airport- and yes, there were tears involved

Now, we all miss her again..... =(

2007-10-30T03:31:00.000+08:00

sri issss backkk!!

we (me,mas,eezan) went to fetch sri at the airport at 2pm.. she wanted to make it a surprise for her family, so we couldn't tell them. we went to eat at popeye's (my first time!) then we took a cab back to her home..

gosh, her mum was super surprised! and when they hugged, it was a touching moment.. me n mas had tears in our eyes... aww.. then waited for her to get ready, as usual, she took a damn long time..! then went my place, and yes, nenek and my mum was super surprised also lor.. hee.

then went out with lala asrul eezan don emma elfi mamat and..... qilah! it was her birthday. she super cute as usual... we went to eat at lau pa sat.. ate like nobody's business, ordered so much and couldn't finish... then we went mustafa to get her some toys aha... she grabbed 3, and it already costed her uncle $100.... lucky lil girl.

last we went to chill at tanjong rhu... it was like a get-to-know session between my cousin sri and my 948 family. hee. family n family.

just came back lor, and later work at 9..sheesh.

but it was worth it!!!!!!!!!!!!! =)

p/s: i miss dear. a lot. =(

2007-10-27T21:48:00.000+08:00

Dear All,

I'm alone at work, as there is only need for one person to stay till 10pm every day to cater to Megastore's opening hours. And for the last 3 days, no calls received between this 9-10pm. Can someone call me pls? Haha.

anyway, dear supposed to fetch me, but last minute he had to go raya visiting with family. dunno la true or not... niway today lala all jalan raya, ama n sec sch friends also same.. what a waste... so now i know there are things i have to sacrifice now that i've started working..

and the other day, i applied for an internal job post under the marketing dept, which required my diploma... boy was the interview tough or what. it really had me thinking hard during the interview, and it's been a long time since i had to really think. haha.

and talk about wanting to go further studies.. how would that be, i wonder..

2007-10-24T03:43:00.000+08:00

a few hours ago, i celebrated my birthday again at the shop, this time with family and some friends..

mummy bought a cake from swensens for me, and we had a mini-makan2 at e shop.. thought it was gonna be the normal cake-cutting session, but noOooOoooOoo my two cousins hir and aqim had other wonderful plans.

coincidently, these plans included flour and egg:

look at me!

thanks to these two lor!!! but i love'em..haha.

2007-10-23T18:03:00.000+08:00

Happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me, happy birthday to sHaZz|e, happy birthday to me...........!
ahaha.

yesterday my 948 family had a mini-but-huge-surprise birthday bash for me...

1. they fetched me from work- lala, asrul- SURPRISE NO 1: with mamat, elfi, kai
2. they waited for me to bathe n change, so they went up my place for raya skali
3. we went driving around, and stopped at changi business park to take some dumb photos
4. went back to lala's place, as she said to just lepak at her house since it was gonna rain
5. SURPRISE NO 2: they had a cake for me, and they cutely sang the birthday song
6. SURPRISE NO 3: dear came! well he told me he was confined in camp, but i guess he and lala had planned something else.. so sweet.. it was raining heavily and he came all the way from clementi.. super drenched he was, i tell you... =)

Yey i'm 21!
So what can i do now that i'm 21? ;p

2007-10-18T18:24:00.000+08:00

Today is Thursday already... So shall we go dbl O tonyt? Hehe.

Today's also a slow day at work seh... So slow that I have time to blog at work and check friendster twice!

I wanna go tonight, but I hope dear can make it too..

Okay not much things to say aha. Bye!

2007-10-17T02:23:00.000+08:00

Selamat Hari Raya my fellow Muslims! =)

Fifth day of raya already, so fast! and back to work later, after 4 days leave woohoo.. first day only 3 houses, 2nd day i think 5.. then third day went visiting at msia 3 places.. balek kampong ah! after like so many years lor.. hee.

here's the people in my house; the family n the maid..

and with my family's new digicam, my siblings and i were camwhoring everywhere we went..haha... look at my lil juniors..

and just now i met lala n asrul n we went west to meet mamat and don.. so long never see don coz he went overseas before raya.. just hang around...

so tmr work.. n dey all wanna wear baju kurung to work.. i promised, but haiya see how!
good night!

2007-10-12T13:10:00.001+08:00

I've been busy.....................sleeping at night! hee.

what have i done so far:
bought a 2nd hand n80, went geylang a couple of times, rebonded my hair, got on nice terms with sanch, worked weird shifts, answered a lot of calls daily in which some screamed at me and some called me stupid and got me so angry i wanted to ask them to come over to fight with me haha, made cookies for raya, met dear a few times, dear got into an accident once, been spending a lot if money (got my sept pay on sept26 which finished by sept30, got half advanced pat for raya on oct6, finishing soon...), went threading with mas, new baju kurung bought by mum, family bought new digicam and as i mentioned the car is new too n may more i lazy to recall.

So it's been good and bad eh? At work now, waiting for calls to come in... hee..
So if you've got any enquiries/ amendments on delivery for COURTS, do call us!
1800-222-6868

2007-09-27T05:31:00.000+08:00

finally, after 3 days, my off day today!! =)

and got my pay yesterday, perfect timing right...
but NOT the perfect pay. damnit i got so much less than i expected... didn't know i skipped that many days that you had to minus $144 from my pay! and the CPF!! this is actually my first CPF cutoff i think ahaha. so old yet so slow.

and after days contemplating on where and how to get the new hp i wanted, spent so many nights surfing, and planned to go surveying the prices today, i JUST discovered the hp i wanted has no flash! stoopid. have everything else except for that. so later, i have to go survey hps without any leads. dumb dumb.

mr.driver aka dear has been so busy but at least we get to talk more nowadays as he has already been posted out mah. got to meet him on tuesday. he wanted his mp3 so he fetched me from work. i wouldn't get fetched otherwise. haha. this sat, he's taking his friend's bike for his own. i've gone thru that u know. a guy without a bike suddenly has a bike. i didn't like the changes that came with that. just hope he's different okay. haizz.

love him.
love mas. love lala. love n miss sri like hell.

p/s: daddy got a new car! =)

2007-09-25T03:44:00.000+08:00

seeing p.e at work yday after so long felt weird. aha. but good la we're at least on talking terms. =) thanks to a certain stoopid bitch, she ruined everything among my 948 family.

niway work is different, got transferred to call centre dept last friday.. at first we only had to tend to delivery calls which were what we were used too.. then yday i started answering all type of calls.. asking abt promotions la, interest rate la, stock la, prices la arghhhhhhhhhh. n i dunno no shit man! we all suffered, had to seek help from e others abt everything we were asked. haiyo.
dunno if we'll get used to it, lala's quitting bcoz of this already...

anyway work's great with elnie ard at least.. got kaki... n she's simply hot to the core eh. so pretty. n she's damn ccol too, rides a super4. haha. such an inspiration.

dear received his posting already... got the posting of a driver seh! free licence!! i wanna get mine fast too lah like this... jealous seh.
niway congrats dear, coz i know this is what u wanted.

love him so much eyy.

2007-09-22T06:51:00.000+08:00

a week plus since fasting already... been tired working seh...
now got more newbies join our department.. i thought less workload... at first, it was heavier workload, coz had to do work, and had to teach also! lol. after a while, okay la..

but now me n lala been transferred to cust svc dept, sebelah je.. so we pick up calls only... no need do emails.. hehe!

btw dear one week leave.. tmr go back camp ah... hope i can wake up later.. want to buka with him den go geylang.. MAYBE. see lah his mood. love him nonetheless. =)

yesterday night went tm to chill at starbucks den watch movie with dada n wan kicap.
we watched 'i now pronounce you-chuck n larry'.......

SUPER DUPER HILARIOUS i tell ya!
go watch it, like now! hehe. i'm gonna buy de dvd if i go jb.. ahaha. freaking funny.

2007-09-16T10:23:00.000+08:00

da start sey puasa!! hehe, so no dbl o fer now okay? =)

work getting better, wifout "bb" and "mk" around, no one to boss me, and i'm much smarter already! hehe. dunno how long i'll stay tho...

and on first day puasa, me n dear 2 months! so fast hor.. dun feel it coz he in camp..
just now he had his passing out parade.. congrats dear, maybe things between us will get much better...

yday night went jalan2 geylang with lala, asrul, p.e, boi cina n his lil girl nurul... wah damn tired eh walk2.. maybe bcoz of work uh? met lotsa ppl.. also saw boy yus at his stall..

den went to elfi's company chalet.. but only the ravers were there... we had the place all to ourselves, but end up all just sleep! ahaha.
n dun forget, don brought qilah...ms super cute! hehe.

gave her the bubble gun that me n dada bought for her months back.. at last!
she was so happy n so noisy, and damn cute! aha...

won't forget my conversation with her dat night.. i asked her abt her bday coz it was close to mine, just six days later.. so..

shazzie: qilah, do u know when's your birthday?
qilah: yes!
shazzie: oh good.. smart girl! so when your birthday?
(she looked at me with innocent eyes)
qilah: THURSDAY!

haiyo ni budak.. sembarang jer... peh cute plak tu.. but poor thing, kena sore eyes..

anyway....

so tired from the chalet.. gonna sleep some more now... gg out with dear later... tata!

2007-09-11T06:10:00.000+08:00

so before fasting month, we had to have a last-raving-party.. it was FUNtastic.. lasted long, and almost everyone was there...! well, except dada, coz she had dis someone kongkong-ing her... LOLx. jgn marah beb...

niway, yesterday most of us mau tak keje ahh tak keje.. eh tak keje pulak.. haha.. except halim n afiz.. dey so disiplin ahh disiplin... eh disiplin pulak.. haha. PENYAKIT!!! =)

and dear was there too, till sunday afternoon... slept like a pig with him around.. lolx.
look at messy me, with 3 messy adorable guys! hehe.

with abang p.e......

and with halim ching kwing kwing....

and last but not least, with dear!

2 more days to puasa ppl, 2 more days only....
=)

2007-09-07T23:47:00.000+08:00

yday dbl o was fantastico after so long!
hee. maybe coz my fav ravers were all there! well, almost.

had de craziest time even tho p.e was wit his gf, i actually attempted to talk nice to her.. well, after all, she's sort of my sis in law haha. that's what i call p.e, my brother in law, coz he is dear's 'brother'.. LOLx.

such a pity dear couldn't be there tho.. if not i'd be super elated... =)

look at this! hee.

2007-09-06T04:40:00.000+08:00

before it became hot, in early july i think, dear was telling me abt the song beautiful girls.. and i hated it... lol.

it's super addictive now, dun ya think so too?
hehe.

niway, just now i had my company d&d... went late coz i had to go some places first... and because of that i made lala miss getting the doorgift too.. haiya. but overall it was okay... got to see many weird-dressed people.. aha. coz the theme was various occupations like nurse, steward, cowboy, priest, student, policeman bla bla bla...
me n lala went plain all-black... hehe. borrowed a dress from mas... bleh muat plak eh?

look at us pretty faces! [thanks to zAi]

yesterday went town wit lala, asrul n met p.e n friends... so hard to get to spend time with him because of his protective gf.. the one who looks like a certain someone i hate tt i'm gonna talk about later. maybe they're long lost sisters? born to hate me, n be hated by me. even tho me n p.e work same place also hard to meet lol. niway we had fun ey? n asan's been complaining about his problem with her. u know her. the one i hate... niway, give him a chance okay babe.. i think he's serious about you.... tho it hurts coz it's someone i hate, what to do...... =X

fasting month is coming......!! real soon!!!!!!
definitely gonna be so different from last year. coz someone's missing from my life this time. u know who u are buddy.

2007-09-04T00:02:00.000+08:00

working there is really frustrating... u guys dun teach me enough, then expect me to know everything? and when i ask for help, u look at me like i'm dumb? hellllo. in no way i think any of u are smarter than me. maybe you're only good in what you do, because you've done it such a long time, and i hope it's all u do all ur life!

gawd that felt good... just now i had the toughest day at work seyy.. i was fasting, n alone coz lala off, and had so many things to do....! just cause i'm new, dun think i dunno that u guys are pushing the shitty work to me. i'm only here, cause it's easy money, i really can't wait to leave this job!!!!!!

and i'm so broke, and i'm so lonely....! what a sad sad life. ahhhhhhh.

2007-09-03T03:49:00.000+08:00

where have i been? working!!! hehe. actually my comp just came back from hospital... all my pics...........gone!!! stupid fella, saved my songs, but deleted my pics when he re-booted the comp... songs can download again what... but pics?? all my hard work of editing?? argh. nvm, what's gone is gone...

club 948 is on the rocks... so sad to think of it... but i hope it'll all be okay soon... last we went out was mamat's bday.. we went changi, bought a cake for him n all.. not exciting... but a memory worth cherishing.... what the hell am i talking.... here look...

the birthday boy with us....

and the couples....

2007-08-18T02:21:00.000+08:00

i didn't go dbl o okay....... didn't feel like it, plus i got the job! they called me early thursday morning, and asked me to report at 9am yesterday.. well the job is okay, a lot of things to remember tho! urgh. still in the learning process.. even tho both are logistics company, COURTS is so much different from DHL... coz the latter was more of worldwide basis, and the former is just based in Singapore..

but something sucky happened at the end of work.. they already told us that they were gonna start a job roster system soon, those kind like in the sales line 24/7 kinda thing... then i got am shift but lala got pm shift for the rest of this month! urgh. there goes my main intention of working there~
but we're just gonna try this out, ryt lala? =( n tmr i start at 8 yucks...

and just now was fun... after work, p.e n asrul fetched me n lala, went tm to buy some stuff.. i bought perfume anyway... nice! i hope dear likes it.. then me n lala went back to bath n change, the guys waited, followed p.e back to do the same n we waited, lastly asrul's turn lor.. so time-consuming... but so jiwa liddat. siao.
but p.e went somewhere else, biasa la ngan duty2 dier.. we fetched mamat, don, elfi n qilah! remember don junior? hee. so cute. we went west coast park (my first time!) then tanjong rhu (don n mamat's first time!) den went home...

fuhh... layankan budak tu, naik sempot... ni pon aru alek.. n she's still not sleepy! hehe.

i bloody miss him.

2007-08-16T07:05:00.000+08:00

i miss him more n more by the minute... argh.
stop it shaz, some people out there dun even have ppl to miss! eesh, wad a biatch. or some have too many! i used to have too many... lol.

anyway, last night, i met p.e for a while, den he brought me back to courts for a while, den i followed him ard for a while.. aha. i accompanied him to meet ayam, den met the 948 gang at courts den went ard in his lorry for a while.. he had plans later on, n i was at wlds with him, so i met lala who's at cck..
talk talk talk, den suddenly go jb! haha. lucky this bag i bring always have passport.. ahakz.. a few friends came along also, n we had 8ppl in the honda stream! luckily we passed thru the customs.. merely ate, bought fags n left.. most of 'em were working in the morn.. and it's don's first day today! as a shipping surveyor i think.. good luck to him, just called him just to say that.. aha.

anyway, maybe go dbl o today, it's been boring, coz many friends have not been going. and esp the fact that dear is not ard. =(